Monday, December 4, 2017

The reality of Postpartum

When you hear “Postpartum”, what do you think? Most will answer, new baby, maternity leave, or even Postpartum Depression. In Webster’s Dictionary, it is defined “following child birth, or the birth of a young”. If you think about it, to our culture Postpartum is just that. In the United States, most people are clueless about the Postpartum period a woman goes through. Simply because of what we are taught, here in America.
  

In most culture’s a woman is given what is called “Cushion period”. This is a period that last 8-40 days before she, returns to normal duties. (Kruckman, 1992/Raphael, 1973) In this time, she is massaged with herbs and essential oils. She is also isolated from the rest of the house with her baby and the ladies who are tending to her. Her only job this period is to recover and bond with her baby. There are other cultures where she is given 6 months to 2 years of maternity leave, without the fear of losing her job or income (Nurturing the Family, J. Keller). It sounds amazing when you think about it.
  In America, we offer the least support in the world! We offer new mothers, tangible items. We offer things like car seats, strollers, toys, clothes, diapers and even How to books. But we rarely offer actual support for the new parents or new mother

For new parents, the challenges are numerous—recovery from birth; total responsibility for a tiny dependent newborn; sleeplessness; emotional adjustment; mastery of infant feeding and care; understanding of and adjustment to the unique personality of their baby; and household organization. Sometimes the physical or emotional health of the new mother or baby is compromised, and the parents need more support at home than they had expected” – The Postpartum Doula’s Role in Maternity Care Position Paper.


  In the United States, 20% of women suffer from postpartum depression. And while it can frequently be caused by medical issues such as a chemical imbalance, sometimes it is just caused from feeling alone. Feeling like you have no one to turn to, feeling like you are standing on the outside of your body, and not knowing why. Just finding it hard to get up out of bed and face the world. This can be very difficult for some to handle. 
Depression and/or anxiety related to childbearing is under-recognized, under-diagnosed, and under-treated disorder. We now know that at least 10 percent of pregnant and postpartum woman suffer from this disorder. Fathers are also affected as well as those who adopt. These individuals need professional help as soon as possible” – Jane I. Honikman, M.S

 In my profession as a Postpartum Doula I am doing what I can to make an open and honest space for woman. To help woman take back Postpartum! To help woman understand that we are not Heidi Klum, who can walk a run away 5 weeks postpartum. 
Heidi 2009 from UsWeekly


That we took 9 months to grow this beautiful blessing, and it will take time to return to "normal". 

It's ok to...
  • Tired
  • Sore
  • Frusterated
  • cry
  • still be in maternity 3wks+
  • Want a moment to breath
  • hungry
  • want a shower
  • cry because walking to the kitchen is exhausting
  • and so many more!
Postpartum isn't a race, it isn't who can return to every day life the fastest! It's the moment in time where you should embrace this tiny human, and its a time when the woman of your village come and care for you! It's also the time that your Postpartum Doula comes in and makes sure that you get your cushion period. And love it! Postpartum is no longer a dirty word, its a moment in time that you cherish!




If you are interested in Postpartum Doula services, please feel free to contact. I service the Hampton Roads area of VA.

Tina the Postpartum Doula * www.facebook.com/tinathepostpartumdoula * tinathedoula@gmail.com





Friday, July 15, 2016

Raising Arrows

Today was "Grocery Day" here in the household. I considered for a moment to waiting for hubby to get home. Between the heat and past grocery shopping experiences. But I was up and dress by 7:15am, and the household started to stir. So we headed out at 8:15am. They made it through 2 stores (Target and Costco)  no fussing, they even had store Cashiers compliment they're behavior. Then we made it to Kroger. Now some would think this is where it turns ugly. Nope.
Any other situation, I would have changed 100% and said "The day is going down hill!!". But the moment the youngest started to fuss and cause a scene. Her siblings stepped up, and without being asked. Karalena started to try and find snacks, or something to keep her happy where she was. After I finally moved her up with me, we went to check-out. And THAT'S WHEN IT TURNED UGLY!
Vanessa had NO interest in checking out, I was trying to keep her seated, and unload, and Kris stepped over and started knock knock jokes. But Vanessa dismissed him. And that's when he actually stepped up to her and put her in her place.
"Vanessa no! Don't push me away. I am trying to help. Now I am going to sing to you and talk to you! " - Kris
And started to sing Itsy Bitsy Spider, and then they started say knock knock jokes. He seemed to have officially started understanding how to handle her. She isn't as " tag along" as Lena was.
Today was above and beyond amazing for me as a Mom. I saw my kids not only behave, but be helpful. They took over where I needed them to without being asked. And never once did I hear "well I did this can I get this for it.". They truly blessed me today, with their actions.
I am proud to call them "My Little Blessings".
Have a Beautiful Weekend
Tina

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Simplicity

So we've had our home on the market for about 160+ days, and come July 31st we take it off Market to enjoy living in the home again, and simply because of the holidays coming up. Since then, we've been slowly purging and living without a lot of "stuff". For a cleaning aspect of it, it's been a lot easier to keep up.
Kids playing, towels drying
All this week,  we've been kind of homebodies. Being home, playing in our own backyard. And it's been nice to just not be in a hurry. It's been 3 days so far and this has been our schedule. We get up, all of us get an hour of TV or tablet. Go outback from 9-11am, go in, wash up get dressed for the day (because we usually go outside in pjs.), have lunch and then either go somewhere or just hang out inside. When daddy gets home we enjoy dinner together as a family, then go outside as a family (permitting weather).
Water table: curb find FREE
One thing I have noted that since we have not been in a "let's go let's go" first thing in the morning,  it's been very fuss/attitude free. I honestly feel less stressed out too.
Come August we plan to do a deep purge of the attic and declutter our lives. We've learned that stuff doesn't make a home or make the kids happier. It's the time and effort you put into living and your loved ones life that makes it great. I honestly can't wait!
So today, I challenge you to try a little "Simple life" today,  tomorrow or a whole weekend. And just live simple for the day(s).
Have Blessed week!
Tina

Monday, July 11, 2016

Sweet Sleep

"Oh where have you been?" -  me. 

This is my opinion to this amazing book,  I'm on my 5th book for the Postpartum Doula reading list. I wish I had on hand when my youngest was born. It's called "Sweet Sleep, Nighttime and Naptime Strategies for the Breastfeeding Family". 
It has makes me feel like I am doing this correctly. I have never had a baby who was exclusively breastfed, and was as hands on as she was. I had to reach out to other moms because I never knew if I was doing it right. And thank you to the Moms who reassured me,  many-many times.
7/2015

I learned that my sweet little blessing is a "Velcro Baby" and she will pretty much be completely different from my "routine" son, and "Night Owl" daughter. She's not going to be on a set schedule yet, or be willing to lay in a toddler bed and fall asleep.
I highly recommend this to ALL new moms or soon to be mom's. It covers so many things I wish I had. I can't wait to share the information with all the new moms I get to help out with this Postpartum Doula Business :).
Blessings
Tina

Saturday, July 9, 2016

Vitamin D, don't mind if I do.

Vanessa loving the sand
 What a great day out on the lake! I got to watch my kids do things that I never would have thought to do at their ages!! One because I don't swim in water I can't see my toes in. And two: I never had that kind of confidence.
Our oldest took the Kayak out, and honestly did better than I do! I can manage to go in circles. He also towed his sister around for us, she wasn't quit able to control her own Kayak, yet.

Kris towing his sister in the Kayak. 
 After they had time out on the lake, we decided to do the "Easy Ski" and we decided to do it with a kayak!! Crazy, but it worked well.
 They did amazing!! All 3 of our kids did it. I genuinely was proud of them. My kids have learned to LOVE the outside and the water.
Karalena showing off! 
They could have stayed outside on the water all day long.  Kris did 2 rounds, Karalena did 4 rounds and Vanessa did like 6 rounds.
Vanessa smiling so BIG!! 
Karalena even Pulled Vanessa in the shallow area on the easy ski.
Once we got home, we all were just fried and tired. So we relaxed a little, and then played Lego Pirate Plank. Which was fun and so entertaining.
It was so nice to have another Saturday to just relax. So get out and enjoy some vitamin D and family time.
Blessings
Tina

Monday, July 4, 2016

Visiting A New Mom

This weekend I had the joy of making a meal (recipe at the end of post)  for the FIRST of 5 baby's that was born this week. This is something I enjoy so much. It's another outreach to mama's I do.
Making a meal, helps them by not having to worry about at least one thing that day. It cooked and ready to go at drop off. It's also in a disposable dish, they don't have to keep up with bowls and getting them back to me.
Now as a mom of 3 now, I have learned some things about visiting new babies and I'll share them real quick. But keep in mind you know the new mom and their situation so this is just to be taken as helpful suggestions.

Send a message or text alert the arrival. 
 This my personal request, and something I do. New moms can't move quickly. They just pushed a baby out or had major surgery. So it may take them a min to get up. Or if they are nursing,  they may not have the walk around nursing thing down yet. So give them a heads up so they have a time frame or can be ready when the door bell rings.

Don't stay long
Now I will admit, I have over stayed my welcome a time or two. And honestly some mom's won't say it, but leave. Seriously, give your self a timer on your phone 30mins. And try to leave before that timer goes off. Most mom's need to nurse (newer mom's won't feel comfortable just nursing infront of people yet), or just nap.

Wait to be invited
  Wait for them to get home, and settled. Don't send a thousand text messages. Just simply let them know, when they are ready for company to let you know. And they will.

DO something
If you are blessed enough to be invited over, offer to do something. Or just pick up a little around. I remember when I had my 2nd blessing, a friend came over and took out ALL the trash. And while at first I was a little embarrassed (bc let's be honest it's the stinky job) I was grateful.

Be Understanding:
Everybody wants to hold and smell that beautiful new blessing. But wait. There is bad news here,  you may NOT get to. New moms don't want to let anyone hold their new baby. But eventually you will.  I usually will wait for the mom to ask "Would you like to hold him/her?". If they don't that is fine.
And last but not least:

Bring food or beverage!
It doesn't have to be a meal, but it can be a basket full of snacks. Or a coffee, or something you know they enjoy.

Enjoy the opportunity to be a blessing to a new mother.  Sharing a meal and lending a helping hand is such a simple gesture but for a new mom gradually getting used to the new normal of having another little one to look after it can feel like a small miracle.
Blessings
Tina


Ingredients
  • 1 lb package of Turkey Kielbasa
  • 1/2 cup diced onion
  • 20 oz. package of refrigerated Tortellini
  • 28 oz can of whole tomatoes, cut in the can with kitchen scissors
  • 1 cup chicken broth or water
  • Pinch of salt & pepper
  • 2 Tbsp cream cheese
  • 2 cups shredded jack and cheddar cheeses
Instructions
  1. Cook the onion in a little olive oil until soft. Add sliced turkey sausage and cook until browned. Add chicken broth, tortellini, tomatoes, salt and pepper. Bring to a boil, stirring often. Turn heat down to low, cover and simmer for about 15 minutes, or until pasta is cooked to al dente. Remove from heat and add cheeses, reserving a handful for topping. Cover and let stand for five to ten minutes. Grarnch with green onions, if desired. Serve hot.

Saturday, July 2, 2016

Just Breathe.....

So my amazing husband planned a day for us to go to Norfolk Botanical Gardens. At first, I wanted to resisted. One: because I had a to-do list a mile long. And two: because we honestly need to catch up on house and yard work.  But then I said "ok let's go", and it was the most amazing 5hrs ever!
Not a care in the world, we took end of year homeschool photos, and even got an updated family
 photo.
It was a much needed: do nothing, no responsibilities, I even left the house a mess.
The entire day I kept hearing the song "Breathe"  -  By Johnny Diaz.
Chorus:
"Breathe, just breathe
Come and rest at My feet
And be, just be
Chaos calls but all you really need
Is to just breathe"
What a reminder! I hope this weekend you all take a moment to
JUST BREATHE!

Blessings 
Tina